Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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