i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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