just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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