i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
