I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
