I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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