I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
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