i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
smell my finger.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
