Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
COCAINE IS GR8
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
