Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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