You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
