I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
