Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize