would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
