____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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