This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
