So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize