It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
