i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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