I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
