I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
