you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
