doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
