You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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