lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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