I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
