If that was your dad, he is hot
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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