Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
