If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
