Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
