To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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