So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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