I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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