Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
