I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just had sex bonerless
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
