OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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