Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
