all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize