Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i dont even know how to be here
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
