Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
where are my eyebrows?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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