I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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