if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
