I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
