haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is this like a preordered booty call?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
