So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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