so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
