Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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