so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize