yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
my liver is dry heaving
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
