Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
