I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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