I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
