He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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