maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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