Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
