thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
