youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
