Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
