Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
