why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
