it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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