At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
