its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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