Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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