trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
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Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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