I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ttyl tear gas
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
