WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
